Trailerpark Totchos
A tribute to the creative cooks in corrugated containers comes tater tots with our famous chili, jalapeño peppers, cheese queso sauce that has cheese in it, salsa, and sour cream. Wanna up your game? Add Carnitas and go hog wild! And for the love of all things holy, people: please use a fork!
Spinach Dip
Hot, creamy dip with artichoke hearts and cheese, served with plenty of pita for scooping. Plus, it’s spinach, man! Spinach is good for you!
Chippendip
Grandma’s pulling out the tv tray tables and putting out some nice snacks for yinz. Freshly-fried potato chips around a bowl of creamy onion dip. No Lipton’s envelopes involved.
Calamari Mata Hari
Our favorite cephalopod all dressed up in a seasoned breading and quickly flash-fried, then tossed in a sweet and spicy chile drizzle of Dutch and Indian influence.
Britney Spears
Chicken tenders that are marinated, poked with a sharp stick and grilled. Served with some dippable dips for dipping, and recommend actually eating these versus lip syncing.
Polish Church Basement Pierogies
High-density dumplings from Poland, carefully assembled by nimble immigrant hands, slathered in butter ’n onions.
Muhammara
Here’s a simple, delicious dip from the middle east, Syria, particulrly, and even more specifically: Aleppo. It’s almost a superfood with walnuts, roasted red peppers, extra virgin olive oil, and the surprise of pomegranite molasses.
Buy The Kitchen a Round!
Didja like your supper tonight? Wanna show those who made it some appreciation? It’s hot back there. Like, really hot. Buy the guys and gals in the back a round of cool, fresh afterwork beers for $9.99 and they’ll be your bestest friends forever!
Skillet Mac
New from the Hizzle Grizzle Laboratories deep, deep below Ellsworth Avenue comes the appetizer you’ve been waiting for: our tried-and-true, fourteen- years-and-running Mac and Chee all sizzled up in a finger-searing hot cast iron skillet. Enough for a few but you might not want to share.
WARNING: Some Wings May Contain Bones.
On the bone as God intended, or bone-free through the miracle of technology. Not so into the poultry? Now there’s Veg-Friendly version in Brussels Sprouts. Just ask if you’d them hotter than hell. No splittin’ the flavors, no spittin’ on the floor, not discounted at happy hour, and don’t clean yourself up ’til you’re finished.
First, Pick a Wing
Your Usual Yardbird Wings
Boneless (but how do they even stand?)
Carb-friendly Brussels wings. Yes, they fly.
Left Wings (Trump hates 'em!)
Then, Pick a Sauce
Rick & Morty Szechuan Wubba Lubba Dub Dub
Big Gay Al’s Strawberry Chipotle BBQ
Chimichurri Flurry
Colombian Gum Nummers
Just Damn Hot Buffalo
Garlicy Herby Parmesan
*Jamaican Jerk
Finally, Pick a Dip
Ranch, Bleu Cheese, or Ranch
But don't...
Pick Your Teeth at the Table
Sandwiches and Burghers come with our house-fried Hizzle Chips and a little dip. Burghers are half a pound of Black Angus beef from happy, well adjusted cattle who came from good looking Lutheran families, grilled to your liking*. Try any sammich or burgher on a crusty Pretzel Roll or a Gluten-Free Roll for the gluten haters. – each just a buck more. You can eat with your hands, but don’t wipe hands on pants.
For Carnitas, You Can’t Beat Us!
Updating our pork sandwich for the lighter summer look, we’ve slowly braised pork shoulder in spices and citrus to make these ‘little meats’ bright and tender. then we adorn ‘em with a little spicy slaw, and some sweet pickled onion.
The Half-Baked Italian
Smoked salami, capicollo, and pepperoni baked on local Mancini’s bun roll spread with a little Tuscan aioli, and nattily attired with red onion and greens.
Delmonico a Go Go
We expertly slice and grill marinated Delmonico steak* and place atop sturdy roll with grilled onions, peppers, mushrooms, and Swiss cheese.
The Garden Weasel
Grilled zucchini and a portobello cap paired with roasted red peppers, tomatoes, onion, fresh mozzarella cheese, and basil pesto mayonnaise. Served on a grilled roll, or on a righteous gluten-free roll. Fits well in the Prius’ cup holder.
Henny Penny
Spicy blackened spicy chicken spicy breast grilled spicy spicy with melted cheddar, lettuce, tomato, onion, and a smoky, spicy mayonnaise. Spicy. Spicy spicy spicy. It’s spicy.
Turkey Lurkey
Longtime companion of Henny Penny, Turkey Lurkey reinvents himself on a big ol’ pretzel roll with longtime friends Bacon and Chedddar, and a big swizzle of Big Gay Al’s Strawberry Chipotle BBQ Sauce and Crispy Onions.
Salmon BLT
The most recognizable acronym preceding YOLO, the BLT is a fine sandwich, and we’ve made that even `better with grilled salmon* on a crunchy bun with a little avocado sauce.
Burgher: Impossible
The Impossible Burger is a delicious & meaty burger created for meat lovers & made entirely from plant-based ingredients, like wheat protein, potato protein & coconut fat. This burger is significantly better for the planet, and, it’s really damn good! We dress it with some sambal and spinach on a vegan pretzel roll.
Chip & Dip Burgher
Buccos Game meets Backyard Grillin’ in this fusion of snacks from around the neighborhood. Our house-made dip and chips adorn this giant burger served on a pretzel roll, of course.
I Can Has Bacon Cheezburgher?
Rich smoky bacon and cheddar atop a manhole cover of grilled beef perfectly able to satisfy even the most demanding carnivore. We stack it up on a nice brioche rool where, if you order it juicy, will soak in and make a sinfully delicious moist mother in your mouth.
Black & Bleu Burgher
Sometimes we like to do a little something special together. This is a big something special: half a pound of ground chuck, blackened lightly and served on brioche with crumbled bleu cheese, onion straws, and special Hizzle Grizzle sauce.
The Macaronis and the Cheeses
So over the past twelve or so years we’ve managed to sell more macaronis and cheeses to lucky Pittsburghers than Myron Cope has sold yellow towels! In fall, 2010, we classed it up and added our award winning lobster mac to rave reviews. So let’s roll with that theme, shall we?
Original HG Macaroni & Cheese
Done right with a cheddary sauce Mornay, it’s not from a box, and it’s big. Really big. Voted Best in Pittsburgh 2016. More adventurous? Read on, dear gourmand:
Macaronis et Fromage de Langoustine
It just didn’t seem quite right to name this decadent gastroconcoction in English, so we pulled out our high school French. Here our already world-famous Macaroni and Cheese is prepared with Atlantic lobster and lump crab meat Treat yourself today. You deserve it!
Carnitas Mac
The regular Mac & Chee is great, but add our braised pork carnitas, -a fried egg, and crispy onion straws and you got yourself an epiphany!
Mom’s Hamburger Helper
How’s a half pound of Angus ground round that’s browned sound? It’s sure to astound, we’ve found.
Imagine the Rastabilities
One life, one lunch, let’s get together and feel all right. Have your own ganja-free reasoning right here at the table with spicy Jamaican jerk pulled chicken.
For Those Of You With Control Issues:
We give you these options to add in to make your very own special Mac and Chee dish. Get creative! Start with one from above then go crazy! Money is no object; we’ll make your custom supper if it takes the last dime you have! Add real bacon for a couple of bucks. Mix tots in, go ahead, they’re cheap. A scoop of vanilla ice cream is a dollar ten. Want a fried egg? Hell yes! Get a fried egg for a buck. Want two fried eggs? Oh hells yes! Get TWO fried eggs for the same buck! Mix roasted vegetables in there if you want some fiber. Go hog wild and add some Bacon! A really good idea would be to add our yummy chili. Try it. It’s good. Radishes and pickles? They’re free. Just ask for ‘em.
Summer of ‘19 Power Bowl
Seasoned roasted broccoli, carrot, brussels sprouts and more, with twangy black beans and your choice of grilled portobello cap or chicken breast. Increase the power of this one-meal workout plan by upgrading to salmon or steak.
Crab Cakes McArdle
People risk their lives by chain smoking on a boat to bring us this crab from the Bering sea. Jumbo lumpers with two sides and our special sauce Remoulade.
Fish Tacos
Flaky, mild white fish, expertly grilled with some spicy slaw and crispy onion straws with a coupla sides.
Jamaican Tacos Tonight?
Three really spicy pulled jerk chicken tacos, Jamaican-style with some calming cilantro cream and pineapple-black bean salsa to cool it a bit, plus two sides.
Carnitas Quesadilla
Braised until it’s falling off the bone, then braised some more. We tuck it into a tortilla and griddle it to make handling easier. With pickled red onion and chimichurri sauce.
Chicken Quesadilla
Más grande que el procuedio, el pollo se asa parrilla y se sirve con todos los compleuertos, Gringo. Google translation: “We are in school, the room is large and bright.”
Quesadilla Asado Vegetal
Roasted Roots (remember that band, hippie?) and other veggies bound in this Veggie Quesadilla with cheese glorious cheese and beans. And cheese.
Cookies-n-Cream
A freshly baked chocolate chip cookie of prodigious diameter served hot out of our Easy-Bake oven (powered by a 40-watt light bulb) in a lethal cast iron skillet with your choice of delicious ice cream. Give us a few minutes to make this: mom’s baking these to order, and you know how she gets when she’s rushed! - A Harris Grill favorite!
A Bowl o’ Cold
Just feeling a little peckish? There’s always room for ice cream. Let us scoop up a nice little bowl of nummy local cow’s milk cream for just $2.89 There’s Vanilla, Chocolate, and a Special Featured Flavor, too. Ask your server.
Have Some Coffee with Dessert
Knock it off, Juley. I don’t need you to tell me how f^&#in good my coffee is, OK? I’m the one who buys it. I know how good it is, OK? When Bonnie goes shopping, she buys sh*t. I buy the gourmet expensive sh*t because I when I drink it I wanna taste it. But you wanna know what’s on my mind right now? It’s not the coffee in my kitchen...
Skillet Brownie
Much like our Cookies n Cream dessert, here’s a freshly-baked brownie in the same dangerous cast iron skillet that was a favored weapon of the likes of Tom and Jerry through Ren and Stimpy. Swizzle of caramel sauce and delicious ice cream
Lemon Curd Tart
This dessert gets increasingly difficult to say after several frozen cosmopolitans. Try it. Say it 3 times fast!
NY Style Cheesecake
NY Style, but don’t expect it to have a Brooklyn Accent.
Buy The Kitchen a Round!
Didja like your supper tonight? Wanna show those who made it some appreciation? It’s hot back there. Like, really hot. Buy the guys and gals in the back a round of cool, fresh afterwork beers for $9.99 and they’ll be your bestest friends forever!
Labor-Inducing Vegetarian Chili
Served with a dollop of cooling sour cream, this rich chili is not recommended for consumption late in the third trimester. Breathe!
World Famous Patio Gazpachoi
We think this is the real reason summer returns every year. Tomatoes and vegetables served at a temperature designed to refresh. Seriously: if you’ve never liked gazpacho before, give it another try. This soup has won over even the most steadfast non-believer in cold soups.
Cream o' tomato
Remember walking with your partner to the primary school lunchroom then going single file through the cafeteria line and the smell of the grilled cheese and the nice older ladies in the hair nets filling melamine bowls on the trays with the little round indentation to keep the bowl from slipping that would be steaming with the hot creamy tomato soup that by all means you should hate because it has tomatoes in it and you’re spoda to still hate tomatoes and you secretly love but won’t admit? This is like that, only better.
Dress a nutritious salad with your choice of Homemade Balsamic Vinaigrette, Fromage Bleu, Avocado Vinaigrette, and Pittsburgh Sauce (Ranch). Salads are good for you and will make you more attractive to others, so eat more salads.
Roasted Vegetable Salad
Roasting is one of the best ways to treat veggies. Just ask any veggie and they’ll tell you! Warm roasty carrots, broccoli, peppers, onions, and Brussels sprouts over spring greens with balsamic vinaigrette.
Hail, Caesar!
Caesar dressed his appropriately in the kitchen as do we; Caligula just tossed salad. And since this is Pixburgh, grilled marinated chicken breast to meat the salad up.
Salmon Cobb
All the standard accoutrements of the famous Cobb, but with grilled wild salmon and avocado vinaigrette.
Quickie Salad Chop Chop
Iceberg lettuce and baby mesclun greens, cucumbers, tomatoes, bacon, and many, many more veggies all chopped up together with grilled chicken and a balsamic vinaigrette so all you have to do is shovel it in.
Salad de la Burgh
A Pittsburgh staple with fries, shredded cheese, and grilled, marinated chicken tenders. You might almost forget you’re eating a healthy salad! Upgrade to USDA Choice Steak for a wee bit more!
Spin Spin Sugar
One pimp salad: Nubile baby spinach, roasted beets, craisins, nuts, crumbled goat cheese, and balsamic vinaigrette.
